Tracey and Simone: ‘It was pretty much last warning’
Tracey is a Māori woman in her mid-30s living in a large city. She lives with Alexia, her 13 year old daughter, and Kiana, her toddler. Over the past year, Tracey and her whānau have worked with Simone, a community social worker who has supported them following concerns being raised with Oranga Tamariki. She is also Māori. This case study looks at some of the challenges Tracey and her whānau faced, and how Simone was able to support the whānau to address some of those challenges.
“It was pretty much last warning”
Tracey got involved with Oranga Tamariki after her neighbours made reports of domestic violence to the police. She was in a violent relationship, but didn’t know that Oranga Tamariki had concerns until they arrived at her doorstep. The Oranga Tamariki social worker asked some questions, stated their concerns and then left, and Tracey didn’t hear from them again after that. Kiana, Tracey’s youngest child, was around eight months when Oranga Tamariki became involved in her life.
A while later, another domestic violence callout meant that Oranga Tamariki became involved again. This time, a family group conference was held, and a safety plan put in place. The safety plan included an agreement for Tracey and her partner to attend counselling. They did attend, together, but only went to one session. They felt like it just wasn’t for them.
After a third incident, and another family group conference, Tracey said “it was pretty much last warning.” This time, the FGC plan included an agreement that a non-governmental organisation (NGO) would provide social work support to whānau. Simone, who works for the NGO, was assigned to the case.
Oranga Tamariki wanted Tracey to take part in a specific intensive family support programme, because they believed she needed support in parenting, particularly with her older daughter, Alexia. Simone knew that working with Tracey would take time, both to support any changes that were needed but also to form a view as to whether the concerns of Oranga Tamariki were in fact the main issue. “You need to be able to be working with them for quite a while to be able to see if those concerns are legit”, Simone said.
“I knew if I wanted to change, I had to make a change”
When Oranga Tamariki first expressed concerns, Tracey was dismissive, but in retrospect she understands some of their worries. “I thought they were just rubbish, but I wasn’t thinking… the violence was never ok for my kids to be around or to see, or you know, to even have a part of my life.”
At first, Tracey didn’t want to take part in the intensive support programme, but she knew that something needed to happen if she didn’t want to lose her kids. “I knew if I wanted things to change, I had to make a change”, Tracey said.
Simone came to agree that Tracey needed some support. From her perspective, some of the issues which Oranga Tamariki were concerned about were partly caused by Tracey not putting in boundaries for her daughter, and not necessarily having the appropriate rules and boundaries to keep her safe. Alexia had recently come back to live with Tracey, having lived apart from her for four years. Older children had also been in care.
A strengths-based approach was important to addressing some of those challenges, and Simone viewed Tracey’s love for her children was one of her key strengths. She believed Tracey was at a stage where she was able to reflect on her past and some of the mistakes she had made in order to do better. She saw in Tracey a willingness to learn from those mistakes and make changes for the sake of her children.
The support Tracey received helped her move past the violent relationship she was in when Oranga Tamariki first became involved. She says that was difficult at the time, “but it’s easier now to be by myself than to be in that toxic relationship.” It wasn’t easy; Tracey says it wasn’t until she was about to lose everything that she separated from her partner.
Tracey thinks that her change in attitude was probably what changed the view of Oranga Tamariki about removing her kids. But for her, it wasn’t about Oranga Tamariki. “It wasn’t so much about them, it was all about my kids really.” It was figuring out that she couldn’t live without her kids that made the difference.
“If we ever need anything, like anything, she’ll sort that out for us”
The programme which Tracey agreed to take part in was more intensive than she expected. “They’re quite intimate with us”, Tracey says, “like the first three months they see us five to six days a week.” Simone believes this intensity is important. “I think it’s the fact that we’re there every day or can be there every day.” A whānau-led approach is also important, or “what do you need and how can I support you?”, as Simone describes it. In Simone’s view, the combination of intensive support and a whānau-led approach is crucial.
Despite her initial misgivings, Tracey says that Simone was a huge help. She helped her with things like budgeting, counselling and a psychologist for both herself and her children. Simone helped connect Tracey to other services such as Incredible Years (a parenting programme for parents of newborns) and Building Awesome Whānau (a similar service for parents with older children). Tracey described being able to rely on Simone for anything: “if we ever need anything, like anything, she’ll sort that out for us.” Simone also described this ‘whatever is needed’ approach: “Yeah nah, everything, finances, mental health, whatever it is, let’s start chipping away at what we can do.”
At the same time, however, Simone described the importance of ensuring that families aren’t bombarded with services in an unhelpful way. Services which come in and out of people’s lives aren’t always helpful. “I think it’s helpful when you’ve got the right people in there, but having too many services can be silly.” Simone said it was important that the professionals involved with the whānau communicate with each other. This was an important part of ensuring that the services involved are purposeful.
Aside from the services that Simone helped facilitate, Tracey says that it was that personal support she received from Simone made a big difference. “Probably the support, like the full on, over and beyond support from Simone,” Tracey says. “She helped us through everything, just not to focus on OT and their perspective, but what was important to me.” Tracey says that Simone helped shift her perspective to thinking about what she values herself.
“I’m not here to judge you, that’s not my job”
Simone described the professional values that were key to working in this way. “The key for me in the way that I work is just like I’m straight up, I’m honest and you know, I just sort of come and be myself.” She described a holistic approach to understanding and addressing the needs of the whānau that the NGO works with. “We work holistically, so we will look at everything… we don’t just look at one area.”
Accountability was also important. “We keep them accountable and we follow them up”, Simone said. But this was not just accountability in the sense of monitoring, Simone described a hands-on approach to ensuring that Tracey was able to complete the tasks she had agreed to, and a supportive attitude in helping her to get those things done. Simone said this was particularly important as many of the people they work with may not have strong family or other support networks. Being around every day helped in this regard.
Simone said that close relationships were essential to this kind of work:
“I think that we get quite close with our clients. Our whānau, I don’t really like to use ‘clients’… You build a relationship with them, a trusting relationship, and they tell you stuff that they probably haven’t told other people before. I think that having someone that walks beside you and is there to support you a lot of the time helps.”
Avoiding judgement was also crucial. “I’m not actually here to judge you, that’s not my job”, Simone said. “You’ve got to have compassion for people, that sort of non-judgemental thing.” This was crucial for Simone, because she acknowledged how difficult it could feel for people to have a professional come into their home every day. “They can be embarrassed, like they’re ashamed at what their house looks like and all that sort of stuff, and I say ‘hey, I don’t care [about that]’”. Simone re-iterated that honesty, transparency, and having a strong relationship were important aspects of that support.
“Don’t let someone else’s opinion determine your future”
Part of Simone’s role was supporting Tracey in her interactions with Oranga Tamariki, which could be difficult at times. She described a situation where Tracey’s daughter had run away, and Tracey had known where she was so hadn’t called the police. Oranga Tamariki viewed this as ‘concerning’, and Simone helped Tracey understand that Oranga Tamariki could interpret this as Tracey not caring about her daughter. Simone’s role in this regard was partly about helping Tracey understand what Oranga Tamariki wanted to see and partly about helping her learn better parenting strategies.
Simone described some of the challenges of working with Oranga Tamariki:
“You know they’re there for a reason and I get that, but we hear it over time and time again with our whānau that they’re just not transparent enough… they say you’ve got to do all of this and then they keep moving the goal posts all the time.”
Simone also shared her view that it is important for Māori professionals to be working with Māori whānau. In her experience whānau are more comfortable working with someone who is Māori. Because a close, trusting relationship is so essential, that can be make or break in some cases.
Despite how things have changed, Tracey still doesn’t really trust Oranga Tamariki. “I don’t trust them”, she says, “I just feel like judged all the time from them.” Simone said that one of the challenges is that Oranga Tamariki continue to hold Tracey’s past behaviour against her. “She’s under close eye from them”, Simone said.
Tracey says that despite this, these days her kids do seem more peaceful and happy, like they’re not always wondering what’s going to happen next. “They’re just secure I guess, yeah.”
Tracey’s key messages for policy and practice:
The advice that Tracey would give to other parents in her situation is just to focus on what’s important:
“Don’t focus on CYFS, they’re not really that important. Focus on what you know you have to do for your children and for yourself, because only you know what’s good for you and your kids… just make the changes, be ready to be open to change.”
She would also encourage others not to give up. “Don’t give up, don’t let someone else’s opinion determine your future.” She describes how her perspectives have shifted. “Yeah it is what you make of it, not what they decide… that’s what I learnt. I was letting them decide… but I’m the only one that has to live with it, me and my family.”
Simone’s key messages for policy and practice:
Simone’s key message for Oranga Tamariki social workers would be that they need to be transparent with whānau, setting clear, realistic expectations and not ‘shifting the goal posts’:
“We hear it over time and time again with our whanau, that they’re not, they’re just not transparent enough… They say ‘you’ve got to do all of this’ and then they keep moving the goal post all the time.”
The type of intensive service offered to support families has to be able to deal with a whole range of stressors for whānau – not just one.
Wherever possible, whānau Māori should have the opportunity to work with Māori practitioners. The level of comfort that Māori whānau have when working with a social worker who is also Māori is often different to what they would have with a non-Māori worker, and that relationship can be make or break. Part of this is ensuring that there are enough Māori workers to work with Māori whānau.